As iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another"~Proverbs 27:17
Christian Marriage Counseling
I’m young and dumb with no experience. It’s a night terror (a haze). As a result, my wife and I are having troubles. But, I don’t realize it.
I’m in the military, so my work hours are outrageous. The span’s been weeks or longer since we’ve made love. As a matter of fact, this pattern is now normal for us.
Each night, the same routine. She slides into the farthest point of the bed. Next, turning her back towards me; falling asleep.
I conclude, she has to sense I’m upset with this treatment. In fact, I misconceive she’s doing this on purpose to hurt me (this happens when a husband and wife don’t talk enough.)
My mind wanders and imagines all sorts of thoughts in her head. Again, the emotion of rejection and frustration arise. I explode!
Although, my rational mind knows these points aren’t valid. The stress and frustration take over.
I remove myself from under the covers. At once, I start pacing. I look at her as she sleeps (she appears, peaceful).
I approach the foot of the bed. An emotion so strong engulfs my whole body, as I lift the foot of the bed, and slam it on the floor!
My wife awakens with a start. “What’s wrong with you!”
Again, I’m a coward, “Nothing, nothing, just go back to sleep.”
In short, I don’t want to expose my true emotions. I’m already sensing inner rejection and frustration. So, now she wants me to admit my shame, and talk about the issue (after this dumb move?)
Hell no! Screw her! It will not happen. I shouldn’t have to say anything. She knows why I’m agonizing. She’s just doing this to prove some stupid point (Although, I have no idea what the heck the point is.)
So, what happens. Nothing. She turns over and resumes sleeping. Me, feeling foolish; get back in the bed; count sheep; fall asleep; problem unresolved.
Iron Sharpens Iron
Further, we try never ending, to find examples of strong, and masculine men worthy of our admiration.
In fact, calling forth the instinct, to forge us into purposeful and honorable men of God. Although, sad but true, few (very few) men today own these qualities.
Why? Well, because it’s hard. Difficult in fact, assuming the responsibility of a virtuous role model. Forever setting the best example of ourselves for our sons to emulate.
This takes extreme courage. And the sad fact; this forging has to take place beginning in the womb.
But, with no husbands around to start the steps, we get what we have today; cowards.
A habit of mine is to always consider the future of my current environment (actions, decisions/indecisions). Thus, helping me to ponder, and head off potential car crashes down the road.
Now, I want you to consider the following five questions. Take at least 30 seconds to a minute (of course, you should take longer) and reflect:
Stop Christian Marriage Counseling In Its Tracks!
Get Your Marriage Off The Back Burner!
5 Questions: Your Crossroads
1) Why do you think you’re having mild or severe intimacy problems in your marriage, when it comes to the marital embrace?
2) Why do you want to save your marriage?
3) Do you possess enough perseverance and fortitude to endure for the long haul?
4) Six months or a year from now, what vision do you have for your marriage?
5) And last, what is your plan to get there?
Tough questions huh?
Good, you need challenging. How else will you grow?
Warning: If You Don’t Grasp This Idea: You Will Fail!
LOVE IS AN ACT OF THE WILL!
Love isn’t this warm and fuzzy feeling used only to inflate our ego, selfish desires and pleasures. To be clear, ego should never partner with love. Love isn’t fleeting. The disparity between love, and “in love” is a façade.
More important, love is a decision; a commitment. You either decide to love or you decide not to love. On the same note, you either commit to love or you don’t. Plain and simple; no in between.
Perseverance is the key.
You must command yourself, “ I will weather the storm! Not; “I hope I can weather the storm.”
“I will love her 100 lifetimes.”
Not; “I hope I can love her for a lifetime.”
You see the difference? If you don’t; you must keep reading and sign up for my free two week email course located in this article. (Or read more on this subject here.) It's vital you comprehend this one principle. It's the foundation of marriage and love!
Furthermore, it's a staple principal to keep you out of so called, Christian marriage counseling.
If you’re unable to get past this, the odds are, nothing else will help you (1, 5, 10 or 100 years) into the future. Why? Because you can’t give the gift of total self to your wife.
You’ll always have one foot in, and one foot out the door. To this end, her natural instincts will reveal this in her heart, in her mind and in her soul.
What does this mean? In truth, you are dispensable, interchangeable, just like every other coward in society (unwilling to be; ALL IN!)
I Didn’t Have What You Have: A Mentor
Well, I have come to believe that this is really the reverse of how it ought to be, that people first need support people, mentors, other couples in their lives, and then they need marriage educators and then they need therapists—in that order.”
~Dr. William J. Doherty~smartmarriages.com
My Parents Divorced Late
I Know Your Wife Has Faults Too
Before You Quit; Please Consider These: Brother We Need You!
The society doesn’t need one more failed marriage. What we need is perseverance, and outstanding examples of magnificent marriages. Christian marriages that nothing but a strong, courageous and masculine man, such as yourself can provide.
Will You Be "A Man Of Courage?"
Do You Possess The Will, Perseverance, Patience, Discipline And Humility?
Fatherless Home Statistics: Will This Be Your Legacy?
1) Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.
Christian Marriage Counseling Letting You Down?
Want to understand why?
Consider the 20-Minute Marriage Makeover Challenge!
5 (less than) 20-minute (do it yourself) videos, to help you discover ...
- Chaos in your marriage and home? Watch video 2
- Could your lack of leadership or Authentic Masculinity be the culprit? Watch Video 3
- Is your intimacy average or non-existent? This is most likely the reason – Watch video 4
Your Next Step Starts Here...Stop The Feeling Of Helplessness…
Divorce: Bad Move
Ok, I know what you’re thinking. No way am I going to abandon my kids! Yeah, right (see bullet eight above).
The Consequence Of Selfishness
The Future Of Your Child Without You
Message To The Ignorant:Your Marriage Must Come First
Hey, I Thought This Was About Enhancing The Intimacy In My Marriage?
In This Article: How We've Rocked It!
- You learned the most important idea you must perceive or your Christian marriage will fail! (Love is an act of the will.)
- You learned the five actions that will occur immediately upon your divorce (now fatherless home). Ex: Your wife will let another man raise your children.
- You learned which relationship is the most important on this earth. Far and above; your marriage relationship!
- And finally, you learned your number one mission as a Christian husband in service of Christ. To get your Beloved wife to Heaven.
- Bonus: As a man, do your utmost to stay away from Christian Marriage Counseling!
What's Coming Next?
In My Upcoming Article We'll Focus On:
- Intimacy/sexual problems in your marriage? Learn the more than 20 possible causes. As well as, how to begin squashing them now!
- Realize how your many years of premarital sex is now contaminating your marriage, and the marital embrace.
- Understand how every sexual taboo you've broken over the years, is now inserting cancerous cells directly into your marriage, and bedroom today. More importantly, how you can begin repairing it now!