Husband And Wife
Unchain Your Friendship
Love is friendship set on fire."
~Jeremy Taylor, Cleric in the Church of England, Author and Poet
I married my best friend.
Yes, I did. I got it right.
I’ve known my wife since we were 12 years old. We met at summer camp. In fact, I and my sister are emphatic about not attending the camp.
If my mom hadn’t been so adamant about us going. I would’ve never met my future best friend and wife. Coincidence?
As I’ve said before, I don’t subscribe to coincidence. I was meant to meet my beloved. Thus, this theory is how you should view your Holy Union with your wife. As a matter of fact, this view is how each husband and wife should reflect on their relationship.
Understand, you were destined to meet each other, find love and marry. And if you’re meant to be married (Although, your free will could have screwed it up.) Then The Father had a purpose for you to fulfill in your union (Events are never random.)
I hope you’re starting to recognize how The Almighty’s intertwining of threads work? Awe inspiring?
For this reason, never stop proclaiming, every decision you make, every action you take, has a consequence. IT MEANS SOMETHING!
The single task now? Learn what The Father has in store for you.
My wife and I didn’t come together in a permanent fashion, until many years later. Besides, after high school I enlisted in the Air Force. This took me away from my home.
While in the military I met my first wife (Read or view “My Story” here).
After my first wife passed away. I married my current wife.
Before we were married, we developed an unbelievable closeness. As a matter of fact, we did everything together (What every husband and wife should do, might I say.) I even did events with her which I didn’t care for. Although, there are places and events she isn’t on fire for as well.
Understand? Suffering and sacrifice is what married couples (best friends) do for each other. They sacrifice their needs and wants for the betterment of the whole (their marriage).
This mindset has to be eternal; not temporary. Remember, the goal is joy; not happiness. Happiness is too fleeting.
The rewards and benefits of sacrifice are so much more fulfilling and revealing (if you are patient and keep the end goal in mind).
What is the endgame? The sanctification (purification) of you and your beloved, spanning the decades.
What’s the payoff? Your marriage; your family; your families future generations; LEGENDARY! You will have changed your environment. Therefore, changing the world (this is your legacy)
The Domino Effect
Look, everything you do has a domino effect on your family, and every generation after you. Every action; every decision.
No longer can you view your actions and decision as meaningless (drug use, infidelity, spousal neglect, pornography, divorce).
As a result, these doings affect you. Which in turn, affects your wife. Next, your children and their children (and their children; something a husband and wife never seem to consider).
Realize, sin, evil, negativity never ends; until you man up and kill it!
It’s difficult to slow the dominos, and get them back in line. Once they start moving.
Again, your life has meaning. Your life has purpose. Every action or inaction affects your life, as well as your family’s.
Without fail, you can fix and prevent this!
Start now. Cultivate a marriage like no other husband and wife is doing. Make your Beloved your best friend. And, encourage her to follow your lead. There is no substitute for this action by you.
You Can Stop The Dominos From Falling
My wife does things with me she isn’t crazy about. Why? Because I like them, and she is spending time with me. In fact, many wives mirror this.
Problem is, husbands don’t get it.
“I gotta go do this.”
“I gotta do that.”
“I’m going over John’s house to watch the football game.”
“I’m going out to the sports bar tonight with the fellas.”
“I’m working late, won’t be home for dinner.”
I’ll just leave you home and neglect you. While I do whatever I want in search of a good time. In essence, to mask my misery. Even though, I don’t realize the real issue.
Oh, of course we get mad when our wives tells us, she’s fallen for another man. Hmm, how did that happen?
Can You Afford To Take This Lightly?
To repeat, the relationship with your wife must rein far and above any other.
Above all, a husband and wife must strive to claim each other as best friends (this means you).
I understand; not going to be easy. But listen, I promise, she can give you what you’re searching for (if you allow her to).
By the way, the benefits far outweigh the negatives (saving of your marriage, family, soul). The closeness you are so much searching for. The oneness; the sacred intimacy. The exalted feeling of completeness!
YOUR SO CALLED FRIENDS CAN’T GIVE YOU THIS.
In addition, would a real friend try to deny you this treasure?
Leave your boy’s in the sports bars. I don’t care if you’ve known them since childhood. Don’t make the drastic mistake or adopt the illusion, they actually matter in the big scheme of your life. Because, friend I’m here to tell you, “They matter not.”
Remember Ephesians 5 (21-33?) Husbands are commanded to leave their mother and father, and cleave to their wives.
Well, if husbands are to leave their mommas, what do you consider this means for some dude drawing your time and attention, away from your primary goal?
Yep, another distraction. Stop falling for this manipulation!
Question:
Who’s tolerated you through the ups and downs?
Who married your crazy butt in spite of yourself?
Who gave her true, free and complete self to you (when your slimy rear end didn’t deserve a quarter?)
Oh, and then gave you the greatest gift imaginable (your son, your daughter?) Priorities brother; priorities.
If all your so-called “boyz” abandon you; right now; who would you run to? She, who is given to you by the Father as your helpmate, your partner, your confidante. Find out how to use this to enhance your marriage to its fullest.
Today; right now! Start the steps of ensuring, you and your Beloved become inseparable for a lifetime.
How? By igniting the purifying power, awe inspiring practice of the best friends concept.
Talk about HOLY SEX! You will slap me for not telling you about this sooner.
(Whew, calm down Jerry, calm down.)
Husband And Wife
Best Friends; One Flesh: A Test
To reiterate, no other way exists! You may conceive, right now you have the best marriage ever, but I shout; hogwash.
Even so, let’s say for arguments sake, you regard your union in high esteem. In fact, a marriage not only surviving, but thriving.
Well, mister big stuff, test out your theory. Consider the statements below:
If you're unsure or just failed this test: Which means being honest with yourself, and admitting if you're lacking any of the test points above. (learn more about friendship between husbands and wives here)
Has She Asked For A Divorce?...Left The Home?
Not Sure Where To Begin?
Has Your Marriage Lost The Fire, The Passion, The Devotion?
Lost Her Respect? Can't Seem To Make Her Happy Anymore?
- Secret #1: Chaos in your marriage and home?
- Secret #2: Could a lack of Authentic Masculinity be the culprit?
- Secret #3: Is your intimacy average or non-existent?
Just How Serious Are You?...Your Next Step Starts Here..."Has she asked for a divorce, left the home, Are you separated; divorced? If So, TAKE ACTION NOW to fix this..."
I Will Show You A Marriage That …
Scrutinize the concept in this fashion. Relationships take time and hard work. So, if you aren’t present and are an absentee husband (in essence, checked out in the emotional and literal sense) how do you expect your marriage to grow, prosper, be your all in all? It can’t.
Consider as an illustration of my point:
- It’s hard to leave and abandon your best friend.
- It’s tough to hurt and disrespect your best friend.
- In an extreme sense, it’s difficult to betray your best friend.
But millions of men commit all the above acts against someone who they’re in lust for or proclaim to be so-called, in love with on a regular basis.
I argue, this behavior is unmasculine, weak, and are serious actions of a coward.
Show me a husband and wife that were best friends before they tied the knot. And, I'll present to you, a marriage that isn’t just existing, but thriving!
In addition, the marriage has a strong foundation.
They love each other. Furthermore, they don’t care about in love, and all the hyped up absurdity.
Without a doubt, the couple considers their best friend, and how they need and desire each other. As well as, how much they crave to please one another.
This mistake is how most of us are raised. We grow up brainwashed into believing, we have to be so-called in loooooove with the person we marry.
Remember, what I revealed to you earlier? Love is an act of your will. Love isn’t a fuzzy warm feeling that gets you through a shivering winter's night.
Love is discipline, determination, perseverance; a battle. Why? Because feelings will leave you high and dry. They will abandon you; confuse you; defy logic.
To stress, how can a husband and wife, maintain an outstanding marriage year in and year out, when they rely on a tingle that’s so unstable?
A marriage able to withstand decades, needs a foundation not feelings. A marriage of this magnitude needs “the will!”
Although true, you will have warm and fuzzy sensations throughout your union. And these feelings are grand. Still, I’m compelled to remind you, not to depend on them to make rash judgements.
Unmanly judgements, such as, abandon your wife and kids for some floozy. For whom you maintain, you’re in lust for. Sorry, had to get that out.
My Mistakes
I can in all honesty say, when I married my wives. At the time we were each other’s total and complete best friends. No object or person presented a threat.
Ah, but being young and ignorant. In my first marriage, I allowed our best friend concept to fade. And I paid, with pain, rejection and frustration.
In my current marriage, it was tipsy for a moment. But, I was able to realize, move and attack the problem, before it was too late (I’m grateful.)
At present, I hope you view my experience as a prophecy for your own.
Marriage Maintenance:
Husband And Wife:
Best Friends; Impassioned Intimacy; Legendary Marriage!
In order to make sacred love to the degree of say a six hour intimacy session (be sure to read my next article for details.)
A husband and wife, must build a sense of trust, vulnerability, and friendship, unlike any relationship in their life (on this earth that is).
If you think for a minute, this degree of intimacy can be accomplished by some trick or tactic, standing on its own? You are mistaken. In fact, without this foundation of prayer and friendship, your success will be temporary.
So, form new habits; break old habits. You wanted advice. You wanted help. You wanted a mentor, who could instruct you on how to change, and turn your situation in the opposite direction.
Well, brother this is it. Take it or leave it. Build a strong foundation now. Or lose the most important person on this earth.
Enlist your will; unchain your prayer; unchain your friendship. Save your marriage.
What Can I Do?
Below I’ve listed actions that have helped me build the most special friendship possible. Analyze And Adopt Them For Yourself
Deep Conversation:
- Not surface or small talk
- We delve deep into discussion on important topics to each other, and to our family's lives (faith and family
Husband And Wife: Best Friends; Impassioned Intimacy; Legendary Marriage! baby, what else is there?)
- Talk about any and everything on your mind.
- Get it out; hold nothing back
- Use all your words for the day on your wife; not your friends. Build unbreakable rapport with her, for a lifetime.
Never Stop Learning About Each Other
- Never stop asking questions about each other.
- Always be curious to learn more.
- Being genuinely interested in each other.
- This is easy the first year. But what about the tenth year?
- I promise your Beloved has many mysteries to her
Your job? Find each one.
Simply Spending Time Together (an enormous amount)
- How can you grow if your time together is sparse?
- Do everything and all things together.
- Familiarity breeds love and friendship.
- The potential problem is once you do these things: you stop doing them and boredom and taking each other for granted sets in; again.
Summary
You know what really increases my irritability? It's how a husband and wife (especially men) take their marriage for granted.
Husbands seem to forget, why they embraced and chased their Beloved, in the first place. I must again reveal, becoming best friends will place your marriage among the stars.
The added intensified intimacy, will transfer to other parts of your relationship (namely, your sexual relationship). Furthermore, this along with your daily regiment of prayer will draw you, your Beloved, and the Father ever closer.
A husband and wife above all, must realize how vital intimacy outside the bedroom (emotional intimacy) is to the longevity of their holy union. A Christian marriage, hell, any marriage, will not survive the decades minus the best friends concept.
And, if it somehow manages, the marriage will be lackluster at best.
In This Article: How We've Rocked It!
- You learned, of a good measuring tool to gage the friendship in your marriage.
- You also learned, why being best friends with your Beloved increases the longevity of your marriage.
- Finally, you learned some valuable action steps to help you begin a new world, of best friendship, closeness, and intimacy.
And Last, Questions To Crack Your Cranium:
When is the last time you assessed you and your Beloved's closeness?
Are you and your wife best friends?
Do you know of a marriage where the husband and wife are true best friends? Consider asking them what they do, and how hard they work, to keep their friendship intact.
What's Coming Next?
In The Last Article In This Series, We'll Focus On:
- An effective, but little know sexual technique to help your Beloved fall deeply in love with you .
- And, how the practice of this in your Christian marriage, will help you to implement and further your journey of prayer, and connection of your marriage to the Father.
- Also, how if you as a Christian husband, learn to sacrifice, and delay your satisfaction in benefit of your Beloved, you will fulfill and satisfy her every need, during the marital embrace?
- Furthermore, how this sexual practice will develop extreme trust and vulnerability, in your marriage. Which are vital additions to your marriage, if you expect it to survive for a lifetime.
