The Problem: Premarital Sex: What Real Catholic Men Do!

Tell Story: about having sex in high school and nothing good came from it because of the pain it caused Kelly, my son, and myself!

You know before I was Catholic I never even heard of the word chastity…

Let alone what it meant, and that it’s connected to God and His Church…

Just so we’re clear, the meaning of Chastity according to Fr. John Hardon’s Modern Catholic Dictionary is…

The virtue that moderates the desire for sexual pleasure according to the principles of faith and right reason…

Chastity implies an opposition to the immoral in the sense of lustful or licentious…

It suggests refraining from all acts or thoughts that are not in accordance with the Church's teaching about the use of one's reproductive powers…

It particularly stresses restraint and an avoidance of anything that might defile or make unclean the soul because the body has not been controlled in the exercise of its most imperious passion (end definition).

As with anything that has to do with Christ, it’s all about self-control and sacrifice.

Which means: the complete control and mastery of our inner-self and desires as men for the good of others!

I’m going to tell you something that no one is every going to tell you or really knows…

Once a woman gives herself to you (even one time) and she reaches coition…

She is bonded to you for life, and you to her.

For the most part she is now yours (like it or hate it) this is fact.

Instinctively, she now will do almost anything for you,

She will do almost anything to keep you, to satisfy you, and yes manipulate you if need be.

This is partly do to the curse of Eve. Which because of the Fall of man (original sin)…

She instinctively desires to control you at all cost, by any means necessary.

For this reason, we must understand our power as men.

When we have sex with a woman, we think “Hey she knew what she was getting herself into.”

Yes, we put all the blame on her.

Why?

Because it’s easy to deflect our own duty in this area in lieu of pleasure.

And what is our duty as men in this area?

To protect!

Protect from what you may ask?

Protect her from us.

God charged men to protect and defend women and those weaker than us.

I ask, how is using up a woman’s body for our own selfishness and pleasure an act of protection?

Then we get upset when she wants more, craves more, from us.

Yes, we sleep with her for years and years…

Taking from her the most valuable assets she possess as a women…

Time!

Women aren’t like us.

Their time is 10 times more valuable than ours.

Why?

Because with time women lose their youth, their beauty, their vitality, their ability to have children.

And when men abuse them by sleeping with them, and not marrying them…

They steal from her what makes her great in God’s eyes.

Why he created her, her main attributes for attracting the man she is supposed to live her entire life with, build a family with, become one flesh with.

And what do we as men do, we come in with no control, no empathy, to the situation.

Look women will tell you anything to have you, once bonded to you.

They will tell you, they don’t want marriage…

They will tell you they don’t want children…

They will tell you they don’t really care if you sleep with other women…

They will let you use their bodies, hearts, and minds for decades, all on the promise (whether said or not said) of marriage.

Why because marriage is infused into their souls (it’s part of the Natural Law of Man).

Look man…

No woman, I mean no woman, unless she is extremely disordered (which in that case, you better get as far away from her as possible) sleeps with a man that she doesn’t think she wants to marry.

As men we must understand this truth!

When you have sex with a woman, and then leave her…

She will get mad, angry, and in most cases distraught.

Why?

Because in her mind you have broken a promise.

The promise of; I gave myself to you…

Which basically means, I gave myself to you, because I thought you loved me, wanted to build a family, get married and spend eternity together.

Look, no matter what she says through her lips…

Inside the above statement is what she is feeling.

And with women, feelings are everything!

Again, like it or hate it, it doesn’t matter, this is fact!

And finally, one of the greatest tests of authentic masculinity, is the ability of a man to control his sexual power in lieu of protection of the woman.

Not exploit her very being (even if she desires it)

As men God gave us the responsibility to protect, defend, and serve those around us. And that main duty extends more so to our helpmates of the opposite sex!

So, I pose the question to you as we end this segment…

What kind of man are you trying to be?

What do you think?

Send your questions or comments to RadicalQuestions@CatholicAlpha.com