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And Became A World-Class Lover For My Beloved! (Part 1)
The love of husband and wife is the force that welds society together. Men will take up arms and even sacrifice their lives for the sake of this love.St. Paul would not speak so earnestly about this subject without serious reason; why else would he say, “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord?”Because when harmony prevails, the children are raised well, the household is kept in order, and neighbors, friends, and relatives praise the result.Great benefits, both of families and states, are thus produced.When it is otherwise, however, everything is thrown into confusion and turned upside-down. –Homily on Ephesians 5:22-23"~St. John Chrysostom
Wonder if your wife loved you more now than in the initial years of your Christian marriage? Furthermore, sustain this wondrous sensation, even after 10, 20, 30 or even 50 years?
Wonder if, your wife, felt so loved, she spread her appreciation throughout your family, and everyone she encountered, with her most appreciation geared towards you, her beloved husband?
Wonder if, you hold in your hands, the happiness, contentment and wellbeing of your family?
Wonder if once again, you fulfilled your wife’s every need, dream, and desire in a husband?
Wonder if, your presence surrendered in her the intense emotions of security, safeness and warmth?
What are you willing to give or do to save your marriage? Are you willing to surrender your selfishness, your ego, your true self, your very soul?
Are you willing to entrust to your wife, the mystery of total trust and extreme vulnerability?
Are you willing to endure the loss of every relationship for her; your children, your mom, your dad, your friends, your mistress?
Are you all in, or are you always inching your foot towards the door?
Are you willing to sacrifice your one and only life, moment by moment; day by day; and year by year in service to her?
Ultimately: Would you die for her?
My God man, have you ever even considered these things?
How can you expect her to be the wife you want; when you’re not the man she needs?
Again I appeal, “Are you all in?”
Even if you boast of a great marriage and family, what would you do to keep this utopia in your household forever? In addition, never worrying over negative aspects of marriage, such as divorce or unhappiness? (Understand the rocky road I had to endure in my marriage, in the second article of this series here.)
Can any man reading this brag, without a doubt, “His wife experiences as I’ve described above (unrestricted love, security and fulfillment?)”
Is your total giving of self, impeded in any way by (contraception, your unwillingness to sacrifice, other relationships, unresolved issues?)
In fact, if you maintain your wife encompasses all I’ve stated above, is this sustainable after 10 years or 50 years of marriage; to you? Without mentorship, and the presence of Our Lord? The odds are slim.
In addition, let me confess, I’ve had to confront each of the points listed. Although, the answers haven’t always been positive.
I needed work then, and to this day, I still press myself to learn, and grow in my knowledge of my wife. As well as, my faith in Christ.
The glaring point here, even if you believe you have the most outstanding marriage possible, should you continue to take that greatness for granted?
To repeat, can you answer any of the prior questions? Have you ever considered them? With the distractions of this society; I doubt it.
[pullquote]The measure of a man can alone be determined by how his wife sees him, how his children view him, and by his true relationship with Christ.[/pullquote]
The measure of a man can alone be determined by how his wife sees him, how his children view him, and by his true relationship with Christ. In effect, the total embodiment of his family, and the environment he creates surrounding them.
In the end, as our time ceases, aren’t these three points all that will matter (wife, children, God?) Despite this fact, can you confess your money, your possessions, your accomplishments are in reality, the sum of your time?
Ah, these are your idol, these are your god, these are whom you show ultimate reverence.
How long have you placed this on hold, creating an environment that in fact matters (a marriage, a family, a strong and powerful bond with Christ?)
This life is a journey you know? Time does run out. Lives don’t last forever!
How long will you allow society to manipulate you; in fact, con you; into believing you’re the most important thing on the planet?
Furthermore, that your selfishness knows no bounds? In like manner, the false truth of how you feel or what you want somehow matters? Brother, that’s an illusion, and underneath you realize the farce. You’re no dummy.
Meanwhile, will you be the man that’s wasted his entire life on self, and sacrificed it for nothing?
In addition, will you be the man that’s 75, 80 or 90 years old, and never manned up?
To clarify manned up, I mean asked a single of his dozens of girlfriends he’s lived with (and used up) throughout his life; to marry him?
To be clear, women instinctively understand when they don’t have total commitment. That’s why throughout our lives, we have many failed relationships.
Moreover, contraception, and not asking her to marry you, blasts off internal red lights. Even if she ignores the warning signs.
In fact she will never; I mean ever; surrender her complete self to you, as long as these two conditions exist. She can’t, her nature won’t allow her to do so.
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Continuing, I am 49, and our immediate family still hasn’t recovered from my mom and dad’s divorce (and we never will).
Will your life mirror this? Will you be that same man that’s had children by several women? As well as someone, whom those same children, can’t wait to place in a nursing home, in order to shed the responsibility of caring for you?
Just as you shunned manning up, and marrying their mothers?
Will you be that same man, who dies alone in a cold, and odor filled nursing home? As the nurse calls the insurance company, and the funeral home to come remove you, because they need the bed space?
Is this you sir? Is this where your road ends? Will you continue to be a slave to society? More and more, doing what everyone else does. In effect, like a pig in a pen; a steer in a herd. An unhuman robot, caving into the science and technology.
And yet, not having the courage to stand up, stand out, be remarkable, and change society. In effect, for something bigger, marvelous and larger than himself.
What’s that something? Your marriage! Persevere Christian Soldier! Fight for it; die for it, sacrifice for it! I demand, this is your most magnificent legacy.
I realize, these are tough questions. And, your whole life may have been spent avoiding them. But, a real friend, a real man, forces you to confront the truth. Although, the truth many times is quite uncomfortable.
Besides, who in your life cares enough to speak with you on these matters? Which begs the question: Do your friends in fact love you?
Stay with me friend. I promise there is light.
I ask you sir, is this your future? Are you low enough, are you broken enough? Has your situation torn down your defenses as a recruit in military basic training? Are you now ready to listen?
I explode, how many baseball, basketball, and super bowl games can you watch? Above all, can these matches fulfill you? Can these games save your marriage? Or, on the other hand, continue to distract you, and keep you mindless?
Please, challenge yourself to find the answers to these questions. No more dodging, no more side stepping, no more excuses.
No man ever lies on his dying bed and groans, “Can I see my bank account statement one more time?” Or, “Wow, I sure would like to polish my BMW one last time.”
Above all, no one says, “Come on, I want to run that company for just one more day.” Or, “Can I win this last award to show how special and great I am?”
It seems that in the end, even the most ignorant understand how shallow their life was. Is this what you want?
Once more, hardcore questions must be encouraged, does your wife feel cherished, loved and secure?
Are your children happy? Are they flourishing? Do they sense you love them? Moreover, do they know you love them?
In effect, excluding words, but consistent day in and day out actions? And how does your family answer these questions when you aren’t around to hear the response?
When you walk in the door, does your wife’s heart pound with anticipation of your arrival? Better yet, has she ever experienced these emotions for you?
I experienced a time during my marriage, when I couldn’t answer these questions. Why? Because, I let this world distract me, and occupy my every waking thought with crap (sports, friends, internet, money, television, video games – Arghhhhhh!)
It cost me everything in my first marriage, and almost everything in my second.
My mission is to wake you up Christian man. As well as, remove the blinders, the haze clouding your vision. Once again, allowing the Holy Spirit to prick the depths of your mind. To instill fire in your heart, so that you join me in changing the world!
And then we laugh together; because you’re pissed off; sensing you’ve wasted so much time over the years.
From this point, I refuse to bury my head, while allowing you to remain mindless, goalless, aimless and distracted!
Brother, you have the foundation; Christ, marriage, and family (you’re half way there). Let’s finish this!
Still, you’ve forgotten your priorities for a second. You’re a little confused (mind rather cloudy). In fact, maybe no one has ever taught you; guided you; or given you a proper example of what a Christian marriage could and should include.
But don’t worry, I’ve committed myself to encourage you, challenge you, and put a foot in that butt, as a Church Militant should.
In effect, I’m here for you over the long haul. Probe me, beat me, Use me up. Together, we will kill it, rock it and get it back on track. Whatever it takes, by any means necessary, I promise!
In Part Two Of How I Saved My Christian Marriage:
- Learn my biggest test of character
- Learn the devastating event that rocked my children and our family.
- Learn the one thing you must never do concerning your wife's family.
- Learn the many skeletons that nearly ruined my marriage and how I avoided this disaster.
- Learn who I inserted directly into the center of my marriage, and how this saved my life!
