Catholic Alpha

From Wuss To Warrior

Premarital Counseling Questions: So, You Think You Understand Love?

By

Is Your Marriage In Crisis? Start Here...

Premarital Counseling Questions:

So, You Think You Really Understand Love?

Premarital Counseling Questions: SOLVED!

If you really want to love Jesus, first learn to suffer, because suffering teaches you to love."

~St. Gemma Galgani

The Love Quiz:

So, You Think You Know Love?

Got Premarital Counseling Questions?

Discover The Answers, Using The 20-Minute Marriage Makeover As Your Guide!

5 (less than) 20-minute (do it yourself) videos, to help you prevent a failing marriage in the future.

  • Reveal one of 3 critical areas in every marriage that can prevent a happy, fulfilled, and passionate union.
  • Step 1: Take the assessment.
    Got Premarital Counseling Questions? Consume The 20-Minute Marriage Makeover!
    Got Premarital Counseling Questions? Consume The 20-Minute Marriage Makeover!
  • Step 2:  Watch the 5 short videos
  • Step 3: Learn your potential #1 problem,  how to fix it, all the while, earning the marriage you deserve!

Insure Your Marriage Has A Bright Future; Absorb The 20-Minute Marriage Makeover! It's Free!

Take The Assessment!

Watch The Video!

Is Your Marriage Actually Based On

Emotion Or Intellect

Christ's Answer!

Premarital counseling questions; are vital. We all presume, we understand love. Love makes me feel special. Love makes me feel good. Love makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Love makes me feel like loving my wife, my children, my parents.

But what happens, when so-called love, doesn’t give you access to the warm and fuzzy? What happens when you don’t experience so-called “in love” anymore?

What-happens-then? To your marriage; your Beloved; your relationship with Christ?

I’ll tell you what happens! They're screwed!

Why? Because now, since I don’t harbor the love anymore. that’s my excuse to abandon my marriage; my excuse, to find a home wrecker to shack up with. Oh, but only until I tire of her.

In fact, we leave and desert our families. But naively rationalize, somehow they will be ok; they will survive.

“Hogwash!” is what I say. This reasoning is just an excuse to indulge in total selfishness.

You know it. I know it. And more important; God knows it!

Premarital Counseling Questions:

Concerning Love, Are You Classically Catholic Or Secular?

So, what is love? Is it an emotion; a feeling?

 

According to the Catholic Church:

“Love is willing the good of another, at the sacrifice of one’s self!”

Bam!

You see? Love Is An Act Of The Will!

We as men, make a conscious decision, to love, honor, and cherish, our wives for eternity. Not until, I don’t feel the feeling anymore!

Sure, don’t get me wrong. Having a warm, fuzzy feeling is nice. It’s a motivator; makes us sense euphoria. And as a benefit, the closer you grow to Christ, you may experience this emotion.

On the other hand, as you move through the levels of the faith. God will strip those emotions away. Further, you’ll have to depend on your will to sustain you.

Look, let’s break it down to the core.

Love is a decision, a commitment, a burning fire within the will saying, “I will do this!”

“No matter what happens; no matter the cost.”

“No matter, how-I-feel!”

“Moreover, I am a man; a Christian Soldier.”

“I will myself to love my wife, even if she no longer loves me.”

Do you get it?

Marriage Tip: What Should Your View Be Concerning Love?

Warning: This Might Hurt!

So, what stance on love in the end, will make us happy?

After all, God understands, if we rely on our feelings. That eventually, they will let us down. They will lead us astray. Not to mention, when it comes to the critical areas of our life (faith and marriage).

But the intellect, “the will”, is something on a higher level. It never leaves. It’s forever there. Furthermore, it forces us to use logic; common sense. Even when our emotions, guide us in the wrong direction. To say, “Abandon God, or our Beloved.”

For this reason, the Catholic Faith is so great and awesome. God realizes, we come to Him as an act of our wills. Not because we suppose today, we love Him. Or tomorrow we despise Him, because we didn’t get our way.

Authentic Men, True Men, Men Of Courage, have fortitude, perseverance, fight, long suffering. In order, to stay and battle the Evil One. To protect his Beloved. To defend his Beloved. To serve his Beloved.

And to tell ourselves, we will never leave. We will never stop battling. Even until the death. Why?

Because my friend. This is just what True Man does!

Fasting And Prayer | A Husband’s Secret Weapon

By

Is Your Marriage In Crisis? Start Here...

Fasting And Prayer

A Husband's Secret Weapon

 

When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her.

The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her.

The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women.”
~Venerable Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen~ Life Is Worth Living

Fasting And Prayer:

Get Rid Of Your Boring Marriage Once And For All

I was a heathen. Didn’t know, didn’t care; hated any conversations concerning God (let alone fasting and prayer). I didn’t care if the discussions were positive or negative. I didn’t want to face my morality.
 
In effect, this happens when we observe nuns in their habits, priests in their collars; God in His Glory. We sense we must at once, straighten up and fly right. In essence, we must face our morality, examine our lives; look in the mirror.
 
And in today’s society that is the exact opposite of what evil wants.
 
Have you noticed? when is the last time you encountered a nun in her habit? In fact, can you point to a nun that carries her holiness outward? Are they trying to hide? Don’t they understand, habits are their uniforms. Just as military men, police officers, firemen.
 
Moreover, don’t they realize little girls turn to them for guidance? Why do young boys gravitate towards being a policeman or fireman? Because, they encounter them on occasion. They are tangible. Something they can touch and observe. Further, someone to look up to.
 
So, where are our nuns; priests? Can’t find them. Don’t see them. To children, they are as ghosts, that can’t be seen touched or obtained. Sad, isn’t it?
 
This reason is primary for the shortage of priests and nuns. Out of sight; out of mind!
 
As a matter of fact, I view numerous priests these days that can’t wait to strip those collars off. Thus, able to move around in society incognito.
 
I just want to shout to them, “Father, we love you, we adore you, we miss you.”
“Lead us, guide us; show us the way!”

A Power; Underestimated

I coach youth football. For years an intense passion of mine. Moreover, when my two youngest sons are born, I have an inkling to get back in the game.
 
Of late, I noticed one of my player’s father wasn’t attending practice and games as usual.
 
The mother confided in me, he abandoned them for another woman. On this day, this wife and mother, showed me an outstanding example of what a faithful Christian woman and mother can do in a Godless society. If she put her mind to it.
 
Now, she is upset, but not bitter. Commencing with, she informed me that keeping her family together was foremost in her mind. Meanwhile, willing to keep working and fighting; not giving up. Although, tough.
 
Few women in our society today agree. I can hear the comments now:
 
“Girl, you need to let that fool go!”
 
“You need to move on and get yourself another man.”
 
“You don’t need him!”

Yep, Exactly What All The Miserable Say

Misery loves company. Right? The ignorant always spew this crap. Heck, I used to be one of them.
 
Earlier in my life, I would have spouted pretty much the exact same statements!
But, what I didn’t recognize, and what they don’t realize; her point is precise.
In fact, she not only leaned on the faith, but she used her common sense (Faith and logic; you can never lose.)
 
She understands her boys need their father and their mother, married; together; in the same house and attending Church.
 
Next, she realizes, even though Our Lord, doesn’t recognize divorce. He does allow for separation and demands forgiveness. But, we must always strive to bring our family back together.
 
Separation; contrary to popular view, and ignorance, is not a license to wander the earth in search of personal satisfaction.
 
In this case, satisfaction in the name of sex with other people. We must remember, children are involved. And, we are bound to set the utmost example to them (even if we fall).
 
Last of all, she understands that we’re human. And recognizes that sometimes, we just lose our dang minds.
 
Now, I’m not saying be a doormat. But, we must lean on the Father for strength in chaotic times and persevere (didn’t say change would be easy).
 
Why? Because he demands this of us. During hard and unimaginable times, he wants us to understand, we can’t and don’t have to endure suffering alone (evil is always about seeking the ruin of souls.)
 
This fact is why we need fasting and prayer.

Ah, Fasting And Prayer; This Is Grace

As our conversation ended, I’m disturbed. I’m familiar with her husband. But I sense, he’s a genuine man under attack. In truth, he’s confused and lost.
 
Although, in the future he’ll again regain his sanity. Rebounding from a debacle such as this, cannot and will not be simple.
 
Now, this conversation happened in March. In the meantime, I place the family on my prayer list. Each day I prayed, I asked God to bless and guide them. Short and simple.
 
Over the months, I observed her a few times, but we didn’t speak at length. The discussion was a polite one and short.
 
July is now here. I’m at the practice field. As I walk on to the field, I hear, “Hey coach!” I haven’t turned around, so I don’t realize who’s calling me.
 
As I turn around, I’m surprised. In fact, I’m so excited and happy, I bear hug him. It’s the husband, the boy’s father. He’s at practice.
 
You must realize, he’s been missing in action for over a year. In effect, he missed the entire previous season. Whereas the season before , he attends each game and practice.
 
Coincidence? My friend, time you learn. Nothing in this world is a coincidence. Everything is deliberate; has a plan, a purpose. If you doubt; my advice; shoo away the Father Of Lies.

You Must Enable Fasting And Prayer In Your Marriage

Even hard core Christians, announce prayer in a casual manner. As if praying is an afterthought. In like manner, they use this petition as a precursor to their idea of how to solve a particular problem.
 
I say you’re at a severe disadvantage, if you dismiss fasting and prayer in your marriage!
In the Catechism Of The Catholic Church, the paragraph states, “Issues, trials and problems in your marriage are caused by the state of sin.”
 
Not by your sin necessarily, but due to the fall. Owing to, Adams ignorant decision to defy The Father.
 
So, this natural consequence of the first sin, coupled with your unforgiven sin, may explain why your marriage is in its current state.

The Bubble

It’s vital you use fasting and prayer as a weapon to ward off evil. Ok, view  my point this way. Imagine you, your wife and family encased in a huge vulnerable bubble.
 
Also, imagine your bubble is floating 30,000 feet in the air. Furthermore, every day numerous helicopters fly around the bubble. In those helicopters are professional bowman shooting arrows at your bubble. In effect, weakening the outer layer with every shot. They are Olympic medalists (They don’t miss.)
 
Now, these arrows are sin. So, each time an arrow connects, the bubble weakens, and descends (in rapid fashion).
 
The good news is, the bubble is forever repairable. Above all, the single most effective way to repair the bubble; prayer.
 
Prayer by you for your wife. Prayer by you and your wife together. Prayer by you for your marriage. Prayer by you and your wife for your marriage. Fasting for your wife by you. Fasting for your marriage by you.
 
Again, remember the most important relationship in this world (other than The Father) you and your wife’s relationship. This must be foremost. Even before, your children.
 
Why? Because without you and your wife; no marriage; no family. In essence; no peace. You have failed in your mission (just another knucklehead out here; goalless; aimless!)
 
Fasting and prayer, provides you Grace. I visualize Grace, as a jolt of energy or power. This power pumps up your marriage.
 
While, defending your bubble against evil (which assaults you each sunrise). Grace is God’s way of protecting the Sacrament he’s blessed you with. Your bubble needs the Grace of God, each day, each week, each month, each year to survive.
 
[pullquote]Prayer in effect, asks Our Lord each day to bless and guide your marriage. In essence, to protect it, to purify it, to make it Holy![/pullquote]

Fasting?

A Husband's First Defense Against Divorce

What in the heck is fasting? Why is fasting important to my marriage?
 
An organization of men called e5 men (e5 short for Ephesians 5) fast for their wives once a month. In addition, this group has members throughout the world.
 
THAT’S HOW VITAL FASTING IS!
 
Remember, in the previous lesson, how I spoke of sacrifice unchained? Well brother, time to step up.
 
Fasting is when you forego food for the sake, purification and sacrifice of another.
Radical idea, huh? Well, it’s not. In fact, this giving of self has been a mainstay for Christians (over 2000 years). Of note, in the Catholic Church.

The Suffering Of Christ

Numerous people haven’t a clue to what suffering really means. Even Christians fail in their understanding of Christs suffering (alone celebrating the so called risen Christ).
 
This is ludicrous! Do we for all practical purposes maintain, God lowered himself to the equivalent of a gnat (became incarnate/human).
 
Endured growing up a human child. Moreover, experiencing pain, peeing and pooping. Suffering the horrible and inhuman, indignity of crucifixion. While baring himself to the entire world.
 
Further, exposing himself to his mother? All this so you (in essence a mound of dirt) would never have to suffer one runny nose, one pain, one inconvenience? Are you insane! Do you really subscribe to this foolishness?
 
Shame on you. Shame on who ever taught you this crap.
 
Christ (Our Lord, The Father, The Almighty God, The Creator of the entire universe) didn’t suffer so you wouldn’t have to.
 
He suffered in spite of you! He came to repair an unrepairable debt that alone he could repair. What is the debt? The debt of the fall, the debt of original sin. Man, the fall screwed up everything.
 
Look, Christ came to show you his mercy. To reveal, he’s here for you. To add, he came to help us recognize that in spite of the evil in the world, we have him to lean on.
 
I mean, how can we grow, become purified, become Holy, realize Sainthood, if we don’t suffer?
 
Deacon Harold Sivers of (deaconharold.com a Deacon in the Catholic Church)has an humbling quote. He states:
 
 
Why would he proclaim this fact? The reason being, there are only Saints in Heaven (Ask around, it’s quite the unspoken truth.) The Father asks a lot more from us than being just a good person. Hey again, Don’t fall for the lies! Seek the truth.
 
How many times have you encountered an ignorant person doing dumb stuff. You in your mercy try to help him, and tell him the truth of how to ease his misery.
 
But, he doesn’t listen. In fact, he is hostile, even to you his friend. So, inside what do you say? “Well, I guess he’s a hard head and has to learn the hard way.”
 
Which means what? He has to suffer a tiny bit or maybe a lot, in order to what? Learn his lesson!
 
Understand? This concept is why The Father lowered himself to a mound of dirt. Not so you can avoid suffering. On the contrary, so you learn to sacrifice self for a greater good other than yourself.
 
This is how we sanctify (purify) ourselves and become worthy to enter the Kingdom of Heaven! Bam! Brother you have to perceive this revelation.
 
Question: Right now are you worthy to stand before The Almighty? Are you pure enough? How dirty are you?
 
[pullquote]THIS IS WHY YOU NEED YOUR WIFE; TO GIVE YOU SOMEONE TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR[/pullquote].
Hence, fasting and prayer!
 
To make you clean, Holy, a Saint. Deep huh?
 
Contemplate the idea a little more. We’ll address it again (more in depth) later.
 

Your Wife

When you sacrifice part of yourself and deny yourself the pleasure and denial of food (fasting and prayer). You are suffering. Moreover, the remarkable point; your suffering has purpose; it has meaning (Remember, fasting is a high form of prayer.)
 
You are in fact, laying your life down for your Beloved. Why? So that God can use your suffering to help sanctify (purify) your wife. In order that she can join him in the Kingdom Of Heaven. How sweet is that?
 
Every decision, every act, every sacrifice you incur benefits your wife. Which in turn, benefits your marriage. Which in turn, benefits your family. Which in turn, spreads throughout the world for generations and generations, benefiting the entire world on your behalf. Because of your suffering for your wife. In essence, giving your life meaning and purpose.
 
BROTHER, NEVER LET YOUR BUBBLE BURST!

What can I Do?

To Save Your Marriage; To Enhance Your Marriage: Sacrifice!

Fasting And Prayer

Do Not Delay; Start Today!

  1. Pray to The Father for your wife every single day!
  2. As a husband fasting and prayer in your marriage is vital. This sacrifice (purple silk cloth with Christ's thorns on top) daily will divorce off of your tail.
    Fasting And Prayer In Marriage: This Is Sacrifice!
    Pray to The Father every day for your marriage.
  3. Without prayer, evil will penetrate your marriage and household.
    You will be attacked.
  4. This battle is real, and it’s no joke. Remain in denial if you want. Just don’t say you weren’t warned.
  5. Fast for your wife a minimum of once a month.
  6. Once you can handle this move to twice a month.
    Then at least once a week.
  7. I fast one meal daily for my wife.
  8. I can’t tell you the benefits this sacrifice has endeared upon my marriage.
  9. Fast for your marriage at least one meal a month.
  10. Begin praying with your wife for your marriage.

If you don’t have a prayer there is one below:

The Spouses Prayer:

Father, all-powerful and ever-living God, we thank you and bless your holy Name. For you created man and woman to be a help and support for each other.
Fasting and prayer is the way to enhance your marriage spiritually through the fire (rose on passionate fire) and passion of Christ
Fasting And Prayer: To Pray With Your Beloved
 
Remember us today. Protect us and enable our love to be the mutual gift of self in the image of Christ and the Church.
 
Enlighten and strengthen us for the mission of teaching our children to be authentic Christians and energetic builders of the earthly city.
 
Enable us to grow old together in joy and peace so we can always praise and thank you in our hearts through your Son in the Holy Spirit. Amen.
 
~Regnum Christi Prayer Book, Circle Press, A Division Of Circle Media

Fasting And Prayer Will Enhance And Save Your Marriage

Take The Next Step: Go Further; Go Deeper Into The Soul Of Your Beloved:

Ignite The Splendor, Intimacy And Profound Passion In Your Marriage!

Subscribe To My Free Two Week Email Course Today!

Marriage Maintenance:

How I Save My Marriage Every Day

Fasting And Prayer

Understanding How To Sacrifice: The Basics

Below I’ve listed a few of the actions I do every day to maintain my marriage.In essence, to keep it on the right track. (See my previous article unhappy marriage? here.)
 
Just as you would do your car. You must do actions to maintain your Holy Union in the proper working condition. Otherwise, your marriage will let you down when you most need it.
 
Understand, marriage is not one thing right. It’s a ton of things right. In today’s society, we’re always searching for the quick fix. Well, your marriage isn’t a car or machine, in that context.
 
Your Sacred Union must be worked on with reckless abandonment. Never ending, never ceasing for a lifetime.
 
Never forget, marriage needs the natural as well as the supernatural to endure, to survive, to persevere. Don’t fall for the lie. Remember again, there’s no such thing as coincidence. God is not an absentee God. You ask, and He will reveal.
 
More important, He will not force you to obey, to adapt, to conform. This must be your decision. I’ve done my job. I put it out there. Now the time has come for you  to view and analyze your individual situation.

Below, I have written a partial list of actions I consider daily if not weekly.

1. Fast for my wife
2. Fast for my marriage
3. We pray together
To keep your marriage (a huge dark red cracked heart dripping in blood) out of trouble. Perform marriage maintenance (fasting and prayer) daily.
Fasting And Prayer: Keeping Your Marriage Out Of Divorce Court!
4. I attend Mass (Church) for my marriage
5. How do I sacrifice for her?
6. Am I lofting anything above our relationship?
7. Am I seeing to her needs?
8. Am I putting her needs above everyone else’s including my own?
9. Am I making her feel she is the most important person in my life.
10. Why am I her servant, how and why do I serve her?
 
These are a few things I do pertaining to prayer and sacrifice. I hope these ideas can help you in your marriage.

Summary

The ignorant and prideful husband (the one who thinks he has it all together.) Will do his damnedest to dismiss the above saviors of his marriage.

More and more, a husband with a good marriage (so he believes) will tell himself, he doesn't need to consider the above points. Well, because he thinks things are going well.

Forgive my candor, but that's total ignorance and foolishness. Are you the type of husband, who reasons his marriage is great? Yep, right up until the point your Beloved approaches you pledging, she's leaving, and taking the kids; wanting a divorce?

Can you say; plane crash!

When your Holy Union is going well is the time you should be fasting and praying. Not waiting until you have to approach the Father (shameful) because you refused to seek guidance in the bountiful times.

Please, don't be this type of husband. One that takes his good fortune for granted. I have one of the most out of this world marriages I've ever encountered. But, I never, ever take that for granted. I work hard, every single day to make my union better through fasting and prayer.

Shouldn't you? Refuse laziness!

In This Article: How We've Rocked It!

  • You learned why fasting and prayer can enhance and lead you to a bountiful and divorce free marriage.
  • You also learned that fasting is one of the most important prayers out there (including its awe inspiring power).
  • Also, prayer action steps you can begin implementing today. 
  • Finally, as usual, sacrifice. And, how using fasting and prayer as a foundation will get and keep your marriage on track.

And Last, Questions To Crack Your Cranium:

Do you know of a super marriage that incorporates some or all of the fasting and praying concepts I've mentioned above?
 
If so, have you ever collaborated with them? Have you ever considered asking them to adopt your marriage, and be a couple mentor for your wife and yourself?
 
Do you know of a married couple that could use these faith concepts in their marriage? Would you consider approaching them to offer your help?
 
Leave your thoughts below and let's get this conversation started!

What's Coming Next?

In My Upcoming Article In This Three Article Series, We'll Focus On:

  • The second most important category in your marriage (intimacy outside the bedroom). And how it can generate toe-curling intimacy inside the bedroom.
  • Also, we'll cover my test on the state of emotional intimacy in your marriage.
  • Next, if your marriage foundation is broken, action steps to help you reestablish it.
  • Finally, if you deem your marriage is good, how to take it to the next level. Never forget, the goal is greatness (perfection!)

Has She Asked For A Divorce?…Left The Home?

If So, Then Stop Researching...Become A Man Of Action...Click The Button...And Start Getting Results...
Remember, It Won't Get Better; Only Worse, Unless You Act!

The Marriage Masterclass That Actually Works...Watch Now!